Halfdropped Modern Dictionary Emergenslides (noun) A pair of old slippers you keep in the porch for putting the bins out in an early morning panic. Emergenprints (noun) A trail of wet footprints you leave in the hall after forgetting to take your emergenslides off again.
Halfdropped Modern Dictionary Personoplateoponderation (noun) Spending two hours on the motorway trying to work out what the personalised number plate on the car in front of you is actually supposed to say.
Halfdropped Modern Dictionary Laundramutation (noun) The ability of an item of clothing to change from Dry Clean Only to Machine Washable. This happens after either a year, or paying to have it dry cleaned on two occasions (whichever comes first).
Halfdropped Modern Dictionary Ductodormaphobia (noun) Frightened of lying awake at night, worry about what to do with the box of plastic straws you’ve got in the back of the cupboard. When you bought them, they just seemed like a way to make drinking a bit more fun, but now you know that each one will probably kill a turtle and cause the ice caps to melt. Throwing them away won’t help, using them won’t be fun and they’re impossible to wash up if you try to use them more than once. Maybe you should do some craft with them. Perhaps even make a dream-catcher; it might even help you to sleep instead of fretting about straws at three o’clock in the morning.
Halfdropped Guide To Stuff Hats The mathematical symbol for a unit vector is called a hat. So if the hat above was a unit vector*, it would be called hat hat. If it was raining, the hat hat might wear a hat hat hat. This is known as a hat trick. Next week: fashionably late and the space-time continuum**. *A unit vector is something that goes in a certain direction and has a size of one. This hat is going at an angle, but I think it’s a medium, so it’s probably not a unit vector. Might be a stockman. **This isn’t actually what will be posted next week.